Tag Archives: senior living

Elder Care at Home

With a rapidly aging population, caring for your elders is likely going to be a big part of your life. According Medicare.com, a recent survey by the National Caregiver Alliance and the AARP Public Policy Institute revealed that approximately “34 million adults in the U.S. are unpaid caregivers to an individual over 50 years old, with 85% providing care for a family member.”

Care giving is a fairly broad term and responsibilities depend on the physical and mental health of an individual but may include anything from helping with everyday activities to medication reminders to hiring and coordinating with assisted living staff. Regardless of the level of involvement, caring for the elderly requires patience.

Every day tasks that we take for granted, such as getting up and getting ready for the day can be challenging as we age. The elderly often need help with daily living activities like bathing or getting dressed. Though these tasks may be time consuming, the physical and emotional benefits of grooming, bathing and putting on clean clothes should not be underestimated to making someone feel more good.

The National Institutes of Health National Institute on Aging (NIA) provides several resources and tips for caregivers including:

Communication

  • Be simple, direct and positive when speaking. Clear and upbeat communication is generally a good idea, especially if the person you are caring for has health problems that could affect memory and cognitive skills.
  • Establish eye contact, use the person’s name and if appropriate, touch or hold his or her hand to encourage conversation
  • Ask simple yes-or-no questions rather than open-ended questions. For example, ask “Are you hungry?” instead of, “When would you like to eat?”
  • Limit choices to reduce confusion. For example, ask, “Would you like to wear your jeans or your khakis?” instead of asking, “What do you want to wear?” You might even want to show the options to the person you are caring for to help them make the decision.

Bathing and Dressing

  • Easy wear, easy wash clothing. Comfortable, loose-fitting clothing with elastic waistbands will not only make it easier to get dressed, it will also make it easier to remove clothing to use the bathroom.
  •  Assist in dressing as needed. Let the individual do as much as possible without assistance but be ready to lend a hand. To assistance, lay out the clothes in the order they will be put on. For example, place underwear and socks before pants and shirt.
  • Make the shower safe. Use a sturdy shower chair, grab bars, non-slip bath mats and a hand-held shower-head to reduce the chance of falls.

Eliminate Safety Hazards to Prevent Falls

  • Remove or secure rugs. Try using double-sided adhesive tape to firmly attach any large area rugs.
  • Hide electrical cords. Tuck cords behind furniture, under large rugs or tack to the baseboards so they are out of the way.
  • Create clean lines and open spaces. Remove any extra furniture that would be difficult to maneuver around with a cane, walker or wheelchair.
  • Install handrails and grab bars. Most commonly used along stairways, on the side of the bed, next to the toilet and in the bath or shower.
  • Install good lighting inside and outside home. If the elderly individual has difficulty seeing, install the highest recommended bulb per light fixture. For their safety at night, install nightlights in bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchen and hallways.

Remember, it is also important to make sure your loved one not only has health food and beverages available but that they are eating regularly. Proper nutrition and hydration can have a significant impact on an individual’s physical and mental abilities.

If the time has come when your aging loved one is no longer able to live independently, please contact the knowledgeable staff at ElderLink to help you find elder care services or an assisted living facility within California that is customized for your family.

Feel Like The Last Friend Standing? Here’s How To Cultivate New Buds As You Age.

Donn Trenner, 91, estimates that two-thirds of his friends are dead.

“That’s a hard one for me,” he said. “I’ve lost a lot of people.”

As baby boomers age, more and more folks will reach their 80s, 90s — and beyond. They will not only lose friends but face the daunting task of making new friends at an advanced age.

Friendship in old age plays a critical role in health and well-being, according to recent findings from the Stanford Center on Longevity’s Sightlines Project. Socially isolated individuals face health risks comparable to those of smokers, and their mortality risk is twice that of obese individuals, the study notes.

Baby boomers are more disengaged with their neighbors and even their loved ones than any other generation, said Dr. Laura Carstensen, who is director of the Stanford Center on Longevity and herself a boomer, in her 60s. “If we’re disengaged, it’s going to be harder to make new friends,” she said.

Trenner knows how that feels. In 2017, right before New Year’s, he tried to reach his longtime friend Rose Marie, former actress and co-star on the 1960s sitcom “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” Trenner traveled with Rose Marie as a pianist and arranger doing shows at senior centers along the Florida coast more than four decades ago.

“When we were performing, you could hear all the hearing aids screaming in the audience,” he joked.

The news that she’d died shook him to the core.

Although she was a friend who, he said, cannot be replaced, neither her passing nor the deaths of dozens of his other friends and associates will stop Trenner from making new friends.

That’s one reason he still plays, on Monday nights, with the Hartford Jazz Orchestra at the Arch Street Tavern in Hartford, Conn.

For the past 19 years, he’s been the orchestra’s pianist and musical conductor. Often, at least one or two members of the 17-piece orchestra can’t make it to the gig but must arrange for someone to stand in for them. As a result, Trenner said, he not only has regular contact with longtime friends but keeps meeting and making friends with new musicians — most of whom are under 50.

Twice divorced, he also remains good friends with both of his former wives. And not too long ago, Trenner flew to San Diego to visit his best friend, also a musician, who was celebrating his 90th birthday. They’ve known each other since they met at age 18 in the United States Army Air Corps. They still speak almost daily.

“Friendship is not be taken for granted,” said Trenner. “You have to invest in friendship.”

Even in your 90s, the notion of being a sole survivor can seem surprising.

Perhaps that’s why 91-year-old Lucille Simmons of Lakeland, Fla., halts, midsentence, as she traces the multiple losses of friends and family members. She has not only lost her two closest friends, but a granddaughter, a daughter and her husband of 68 years. Although her husband came from a large family of 13 children, his siblings have mostly all vanished.

“There’s only one living sibling — and I’m having dinner with him tonight,” said Simmons.

Five years ago, Simmons left her native Hamilton, Ohio, to move in with her son and his wife, in a gated, 55-and-over community midway between Tampa and Orlando. She had to learn how to make friends all over again. Raised as an only child, she said, she was up to the task.

Simmons takes classes and plays games at her community. She also putters around her community on a golf cart (which she won in a raffle) inviting folks to ride along with her.

For his part, Trenner doesn’t need a golf cart.

His personal formula for making friends is music, laughter and staying active. He makes friends whether he’s performing or attending music events or teaching.

Simmons has her own formula. It’s a roughly 50-50 split of spending quality time with relatives (whom she regards as friends) and non-family friends. The odds are with her. This, after all, is a woman who spent 30 years as the official registrar of vital statistics for Hamilton. In that job, she was responsible for recording every birth — and every death — in the city.

Experts say they’re both doing the right thing by not only remaining open to new friendships but constantly creating new ways to seek them out — even at an advanced age.

Genuine friendships at any age typically require repeated contact, said Dr. Andrea Bonior, author of “The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing and Keeping Up with Your Friends.” She advises older folks to join group exercise classes or knitting or book clubs.

She also suggests that seniors get involved in “altruistic behavior” like volunteering in a soup kitchen or an animal shelter or tutoring English as a second language.

“Friendships don’t happen in a vacuum,” she said. “You don’t meet someone at Starbucks and suddenly become best friends.”

Perhaps few understand the need for friendship in older years better than Carstensen, who, besides directing the Stanford Center on Longevity, is author of “A Long Bright Future: Happiness, Health and Financial Security in an Age of Increased Longevity.”

Carstensen said that going back to school can be one of the most successful ways for an older person to make a new friend.

Bonior recommends that seniors embrace social media. These social media connections can help older people strike up new friendships with nieces, nephews and even grandchildren, said Alan Wolfelt, an author, educator and founder of the Center for Loss and Life Transition.

“It’s important to create support systems that don’t isolate you with your own generation.”

Many older folks count their children as their best friends — and Carstensen said this can be a big positive on several levels.

“I don’t think it matters who your friends are,” she said. “It’s the quality of the relationship that matters most.”

 

Kaiser Health News is a nonprofit news service covering health issues. It is an editorially independent program of the Kaiser Family Foundation, which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

Signs It’s Time to Get Help For Your Aging Loved One

Admitting the need for help is difficult at any age and one of the most difficult things to judge is exactly when someone may no longer be able to care for themselves by themselves. This may be especially when that person is your closest loved ones.

But the responsibility often falls on family members to recognize the signs that an aging loved one might need more support with daily living tasks. So how do you know when it is time to get help?

The answer is likely right in front of your eyes – in their appearance and around their house. Not sure what to signs look for? Some common red flags are listed below:

Personal Appearance and Hygiene

  • Difficulty standing up straight, frequently bent over or leaning to one side
  • Sudden weight loss or gain
  • Shuffling when walking rather than stepping
  • Infrequent showering or bathing
  • The smell of urine within the house or on clothing
  • Difficulty with clothing, including using buttons and zippers
  • Trouble getting up from a seated position
  • Difficulty with walking, balance and mobility
  • Unexplained bruising or injuries
  • New or numerous marks or wear on walls, door jams, furniture and other items that may be used to assist with stability and walking throughout the home
  • Mental Status

  • Difficulty keeping track of time, such as sleeping for most of the day
  • Loss of interest in hobbies and activities
  • Changes in mood or extreme mood swings
  • Forgetfulness, such as forgetting to take medications or taking incorrect dosages
  • Uncertainty and confusion when performing once-familiar tasks
  • Consistent use of poor judgment, such as falling for scams or giving away money to sketchy sources
  • Household Chores and Responsibilities

  • Increased clutter or difficulty putting things away the way they used to be
  • Medication is no longer stored properly and may not be taken as prescribed
  • Decreased amount of fresh food and/or increased amount of spoiled food in the refrigerator
  • Dirty laundry pilling up or difficulty using the washer/dryer
  • Piles of unopened mail or overflowing mailbox
  • Unpaid bills, late payment notices, bounced checks or checks written to pay bills but never sent
  • Lack of food in refrigerator and pantries
  • Increased amount of stains on furniture or carpet
  • Decreased maintenance inside and outside home, such as not replacing burned out light bulbs, lawn is not mowed
  • Vehicle and Driving

  • Unexplained dents and scratches on the car
  • Vehicle not properly maintained, such as lapse in registration, large discrepancy between change-oil sticker vs. current mileage
  • Difficulty getting in and out of the vehicle
  • Driving too slowly, decreased reaction time
  • Confusion or forgetting route or destination
  • Trouble parking
  • Lack of confidence driving, especially driving at highway speed and/or at night
  • Care Options
    Even if you see the aforementioned signs, it doesn’t necessarily mean it is required to move your loved one into assisted living or a nursing home. However, these red flags do indicate that more supportive care is needed. The signs should be used as a guide and a starting point in the process of determining whether home care or a higher level of care would be best and to help you make informed and confident decisions.

    Our caring and knowledgeable staff at ElderLink can help you determine exactly the level and what kind of support your loved one needs as well as help you find elder care services providers throughout California.